Live & Learn
by faustianCufflinks
Summary: Rouge's thoughts as she remembers the ebony hedgehog that once saved her life. Set after Sonic Adventure 2.


Live & Learn

Disclaimer: Rouge the Bat, Shadow the Hedgehog and Knuckles the Echidna all belong to Sega, and I hold no ownership whatsoever over these characters. The song Live & Learn also does not belong to me, and was sung by Johnny Gioeli of Crush 40. That is all…

The sun was starting to set, the sky a wash of oranges, pinks and purples. Seeing the sun sink into the sea somehow calmed me, and I was grateful for it, it was a change from the dull and regular scenery of Central City, and the stress and hopelessness I was feeling.

I had been going through some major mood swings, and I decided to calm down by taking a walk. I kept my concentration on my boots as I walked slowly on the dilapidated and rocky pavement.

I hated my life right now, it was going absolutely nowhere. I looked up and sighed, already catching sight of an early star shining in the strangely beautiful sky.

I came to a stop near the dock, glancing at the gnarled wood, the wooden planks and the soundless boats, moving slightly as the wind blew against them. I contemplated what to do with my life now. Somehow, when Shadow had died, something had left with him too. What it was, I would probably never know.

I looked over to the dock, the black, freezing and bottomless water strangely inviting. Was suicide calling my name, ensnaring me within its cold dead grasp? Maybe. I wasn't so afraid of death.

But I didn't like the idea of killing myself. I wasn't the type of person who gave up on life that easily. But... what if I saw Shadow after death? What if I saw the big golden gates of heaven open, and Shadow was there waiting for me, wings, halo and all?

The scene of Shadow's death painfully returned, and I remembered as he fell back, his back arched and his eyes showing peace and conclusiveness, as if he had no problem to finally meet his maker. I remembered how Shadow had fallen to earth...and then nothing.

Suddenly, pain and sadness flared in my chest, causing tears of scattered emotions to drip out of my blue eyes. I bent over, and cried silently, Shadow's perpetual crimson eyes looking at me in my head, never blinking once.

"Oh, Shadow. What have you done to me?" I sobbed, a tear sliding down my cheek, and falling off at my chin. I wiped my eyes, standing like a dumbfounded fool for a moment to regain my calmness. I regained it after a few moments, and wiped my eyes. I disliked crying, it always made me feel empty and hopeless.

As I resumed my walk, I saw a familiar figure standing at the dock. A black and red hedgehog with eyes as red as blood.

Shadow?

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop and I ran towards him, desperate to hear his voice once more. As soon as I reached him, the wind stole his solidity and colour, his crimson eyes the only remainder and hint he was ever there.

"Look at yourself. I would never have called such a weakling my ally." Shadow's voice called, now echoing and distant sounding. "Learn from my death, Rouge. Being weak isn't an option in life, because if you are, the enemies win, and you lose. You lose everything you fought for, and all because you were weak." His eyes started to fade, and I felt tears spring up into mine. I reached out for him desperately, but he ignored my reaching hand.

"Live and learn, Rouge, Learn from this, and live on, for yourself, for everyone…for me." Shadow's voice echoed in my ears and I reached out for him, tears blurring everything except Shadow's red eyes.

"Don't leave me!" I cried, staring at the floating crimson orbs that were once Shadow's gorgeous eyes. The eyes only contained distress for me, and I felt my face crumple as his eyes continued to fade. "Please don't leave me..."

The eyes stared deep into my soul one last time, until they too faded to nothing.

I collapsed to the ground, the wood making a loud 'CLUNK' as I fell upon it. I felt exhaustion and depression wringing at my throat and body. Was I going crazy? Had Shadow really been there? Did Shadow really come back, just to call me weak? I let the tears fall, now thinking only of the hedgehog that had once saved my life.

"Rouge! What's wrong?" A deep but smooth voice called from behind me. I got up clumsily, all my grace and elegance thrown away. I turned around feebly to see Knuckles striding towards me and I stood  
still. I didn't want to tell anyone about Shadow and I.

I couldn't help look into his eyes. His violet eyes, so familiar and actually there with a body. I thought of Shadow, and when Knuckles got close enough, I fell into his arms as I felt my knees grow weak.

"Is something wrong?" Knuckles asked gruffly, holding me upright. His  
eyes showed concern and puzzlement, and I immediately remembered Shadow's last long gaze at me.

"No. I'm fine." I replied, patting Knuckles large hand. He took it as a sign of dismissal, but suddenly struggled with words for a moment.

"I-No..." Knuckles shook his head, his trademark dreadlocks flinging around him. "I'm sorry about the distress you're feeling. I can tell you and Shadow were good…allies..." Knuckles sentence drifted off, and I smiled at him in a way of saying 'thanks'. Knuckles and I watched silently as the sun set, and the sky darkened to black, leaving the stars to blink at us, almost like they were curious to find out more about us.

I turned to Knuckles, suddenly grateful he had shown concern over me. I twisted my face in thought for a moment, then found the words to describe my appreciation.

"Yes... Thanks for the sympathy, Knuckles..." Saying thanks to Knucklehead hurt _a lot_, but he deserved it. After all, he sacrificed some of his dignity to sympathize for me, right? Knuckles nodded in acknowledgement, then started to turn around.

"I'll...see you around, Rouge. Get better for all of us, will you?" Knuckles asked, before leaving quietly. I smiled after him, he was sweet, but the empty hole in my chest was once for someone else, and I couldn't replace that person. Ever.

The wind blew around me as I thought I heard someone call my name, but I shrugged it off. Really now, if Shadow wanted me to suffer because of him, he would've done it while he was alive.

Now? He would've wanted me to carry on with life and move on. After all, he had come back to scold me of my weakness and depression, right? Sure, it would hurt really badly for some time, but wounds healed, both mental and physical.

I smiled up at the moon, memories of someone gazing at it with me still in my head. I continued walking, leaving my past behind as I did so.

Hey, you live and learn, don't you?

AN: Yes, yes you do, Rouge. This was an idea I got after listening to the SA2 song 'Live & Learn'. This is just a small oneshot as I do Black & White Heart. I'm not exactly a fan of Knouge (Knuckles and Rouge) BUT, this was an exception. I'm trying to make the characters in character, but Rouge turned out to be a big softy. :L Oh well! Please, read and review!


End file.
